Subject:  "The deal" with Florida.....
Date:     Wed, 13 Dec 2000 125857 -0600
From:     Roy Beavers 
To:       guru 
--------------------------------------------------

.......From EMF-L.......

This can't wait until TGIF......  (I understand the sentiment expressed 
here.  We don't want 'em in the Ozarks, either....  P.S.  Today we are 
getting a foot of snow.....I will have an editorial on the election ready
this afternoon,,,,,,guru.....)

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: "The deal" with Florida
Date: Wed, 13 Dec 2000 13:27:30 -0500
From: azul@flash.net
To: Roy Beavers 

OPEN LETTER TO: The citizens of the other 49 States
FROM:  The unified, native citizens of the State of Florida
RE:  THE DEAL

Okay, here's the deal.  We here in the State of Florida have all gotten
together and decided to hold the rest of the country hostage with these
election results until you come and take your parents back home with
you!

That's right, we're tired of hearing how good it was back home and how
beautiful your children are.  We can't stand it any longer!

And where did they learn to DRIVE?!!?

We're running out of Depends down here, and it's going to get messy. You
want a President?...We want a speed limit over 20 mph..We want to be
able to get into our restaurants.Is it a deal?

We need a break.  We mean it.  We're not letting the results out. We'll
stall with lawsuits and claim ballot fraud until you come and get your
old folks.  And you can give the Canadians a ride as far as you're
going, too.

As soon as we get our state back, we'll certify the election.  As you
can see by the preliminary, temporarily-on-hold, results down here, it
doesn't matter to us who becomes President...at least half of us will be
satisfied. But ALL of us approve of THIS deal!

Signed,
Your neighbors in Florida


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Reprinted with permission of Roy Beavers, http://www.emfguru.com