Subject:  "Bureaucratium" -- NRPB style (Philips)..
Date:     Thu, 6 Jan 2000 075625 -0600 (CST)
From:     "Roy L. Beavers" 
To:       emfguru 
--------------------------------------------------


.......How apropos!!  Coming, as it does, following my response
yesterday to Mike Repacholi about the WHO bureaucracy.....!!!

Thanks, Alasdair.....  (You have added a word -- as well an element -- to
the English language!!)

There is at least one additional characteristic of "bureaucratium" --
it has a powerful natural attraction to $$$$$$$$, particularly the
$$$$$$$$ which emanate from vested interests......!!!

Cheerio......

Roy Beavers (EMFguru)
roy@emfguru.com

.....It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness.....
                       NEW!!!  Website 
...................People are more important than profits.................

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Fri, 06 Jan 1995 10:06:23
From: Alasdair Philips 
To: "Roy L. Beavers" 
Subject: Ho Ho Ho

I thought some of you might be amused by the followed ditty..........
With good wishes
Alasdair
                [With thanks to 'Network' April 1999]

The most dense element known to science was recently discovered at the UK
NRPB and has been named "Bureaucratium". It has no protons or electrons and
thus has an atomic number of zero.

Upon detailed inspection it was found to have:
                - 1 neutron
                - 13 bored neutrons
                - 1  vice neutron
                - 5 assistant vice neutrons
                - 10 heads of vice
            which altogether give it an atomic mass of 30

These 30 particles are held together by a force that involves the
continuous exchange of meson-like particles called 'morons'. It is also
surrounded by  quantities of lepton-like particles called 'peons'. A few
subversive particles called 'xenons' are thought to have been spotted, but
this has yet to be confirmed as their effects are generally hidden by the
vice neutrons.

Since it has no electrons, bureaucratium is inert. However it can be
detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with.
According to investigators, the presence of a minute amount of
bureaucratium causes a reaction that would have normally occurred in less
than a second, to take over four days to complete. 

Bureaucratium has a normal half-life of about 5 years, at which time it
does not decay but undergoes a reorganisation in which some existing
particles exchange places with those in neighbouring administratium atoms.

Scientists point out that bureaucratium is believed to be toxic at any
level of concentration and, if allowed to build up, will stop any
productive reaction occuring within its vicinity. Attempts are currently
being made to determine how bureacratium can be controlled to prevent
irreversible damage to the ecology of the planet, but results to date are
not promising.

Suggestions that bureacratium should be encased in 4 foot thick concrete
and buried deep under Didcot have been rejected by the local planning
authority on the grounds that the slightest leak could pollute large nearby
populations, leading to the inability to think freely and clearly for
decades to come. Some calculations even project such incapacity into the
next millennium!






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Reprinted with permission of Roy Beavers, http://www.emfguru.com